Book Club : February Notes

An Extraordinary Beginning

Our newly reorganized book club held its first meeting on February 7th.  And our first book of the year was very strange indeed: The Museum of Extraordinary Things by Alice Hoffman.

Image from Google

The novel is set in Brooklyn around 1911.  In addition to other sites, much of the action takes place at the Museum of Extraordinary Things located on Coney Island where freaks of Nature, human and otherwise, were put on display by Coralie's father for the entertainment of the public (and of course for the purpose of filling his bank account). 

We all agreed we enjoyed the book.  Each of us was able to find among the oddities populating the pages, something we really loved.  Here is a quick bulleted list of some of the things we liked about the book:

• the beautiful use of language by the author, Alice Hoffman - her descriptions were detailed and sensative
• the book's historical references were fascinating and led some to do further research on the Shirtwaist Factory fire and the great 1911 fire at Dreamland located across the way from the Museum of the novel
• learning that not so very long ago, NYC was not such a concrete jungle - one could actually find wooded unsettled areas and even fish and swim in the Hudson River
• the stories of immigrants when they arrived penniless to NYC- their struggles but especially the strength of spirit, the pride, the tenacity of these people
• the clever twists in the plot, especially the surprises and connections between characters that were revealed along the way
• the view into a world not many of us know -  that of people living with abnormalities and how they struggle to live a normal life
• the strangeness of it all 

The book provoked a good discussion... then it was on to"What should we read next?"

We came up with the following  potential reads for the March meeting:

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith
A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles
Allie and Bea by Cathering Ryan Hyde
Before We Were Yours by Lisa Wingate

As is our routine, we went home, looked at reviews and voted on our FB groupsite.

Our March read will be A Gentleman in Moscow...though I'm sure some of us will read several of the other choices on our own as well!

image from Google

Hope you are enjoying some great winter reads.  I'd love to hear what you are reading...use comment section to share.

Quarterly Book Report

Say It Isn't So

It's April.  That means we are officially one fourth of the way through 2017!  Three months gone!!  How can that be?  I haven't even clearly defined my New Year's Resolutions!!! I know one of my resolutions was to write more blog posts. Yikes. I promise to get going with that one. So, before any more time goes by, I'd like to share with you the books I have read so far in 2017.  Since there are a number of them (another resolution - read more) I will not bore you and review them all, just present titles from the best to the worst and give a quick thumbs up or down.

Great Reads

The Language of Flowers, Vanessa Diffenbaugh
👍👍👍👍👍 ( You gotta read this one)


The Book That Matters Most, Ann Hood
👍👍👍👍👍

Never Too Late: Your Roadmap to Reinvention (Without Getting Lost Along the Way), Claire Cook
👍👍👍👍

Nine Women, One Dress, Jane L. Rosen
👍👍👍👍

The Coincidence of Coconut Cake, Amy Reichert
👍👍👍👍

The City Baker's Guide to Country Living, Louise Miller  👍👍

Not So Great Reads

Commonwealth, Ann Patchett
👎👎

Homegoing,Yaa Gyasi
👎👎 

They May Not Mean To But They Do, Colleen Schine
👎👎👎👎

May you have a fabulous remainder of 2017.  Hope this list gives you some food for thought.

The Responsibility to Remember

The Responsibility to Remember

A while back I wrote a post about my neighborhood book club, and how we discussed the topic of everlasting life.  One of the things we concluded was that we live on in the lives of our loved ones.  I told you in that post, that it made me think of my Aunt Marie, my mom's sister who died very young.  I feel we have an obligation to share with the next generation, the stories of the family and friends who have populated our lives, the people who we hold dear, the ones who need to be remembered.  And so, this post is dedicated to my Aunt Marie.  I write of her because I want my children to know her, to know she was special to the people in her life.  She played a big role in my growing up, even though I never met her.  Her memory was very much alive in my family.

I've decided to share my aunt's story in a poem I wrote for her.  As a retired person (YAY!!) I am pursuing some of the things I love to do but never had the time, and one of those things is writing.  To that end, I joined a poetry group at the Senior Center and have met some very wonderful people.  The group is led by a very capable and inspiring poet who is very gracious in sharing her expertise and in encouraging us to write (more about this group in a later post). The following is one of the poem's I wrote for this poetry seminar:

Dear Aunt Marie

I never met you, 

Yet I know you well.

I know of your gentle spirit,

That so washed over a family

It left them lost and wailing

In the cold hospital corridor

When they heard the news

You were gone.

I know of the fierce love you inspired.

Of the mother who carried

You for blocks to see the latest picture show.

How she endured the scorn of passers-by,

Who spat their disapproval such a big girl,

Wouldn't walk.

I know of your unwavering faith,

Revealed in posies written to the Lord,

In pretty prayers beseeching saints,

In dozens of parochial girls

Who wept beside your coffin,

Knowing an angel was born.

I never met you,

Yet I know you well.

I see you in the sprinkle of freckles

On my sister's face,

In the eyes that blink back at me

From the mirror,

In the family line of sweet-hearted girls.

I see you in the cherished vase

That once belonged to you,

In the tender way it is handled,

For the precious story it can tell.

I never met you,

Yet

I know you well.

Love,

Karen

This Roseville vase was given to my aunt Marie when she was confined to bed after complications as a result of measles.  Her Aunt Thelma gave it to her and it was originally filled with a bouquet of Tootsie Roll Pops.  After her death the vase became the symbol of Marie's sweetness and goodness and became a cherished family heirloom.

I Love My Book Club!

BOOK CLUBS: Some Thoughts

I am a member of a neighborhood book club, The Maple Glen Book Club, to be exact.  It has a total of eight members. Several of the women I had never met before, even though I have lived in this neighborhood for over twenty years and so have they.  Several I knew by sight and name, but none were close friends.  It's an amazing thing to live in a fairly closed community (there is only one entrance and egress that we all must pass through) and not come to know the people of that community.  A big failure on my part, but it appears, this situation was true for most of the women in the group. Food for thought.

Happily, as we continue to hold our monthly meetings and share and discuss our thoughts about the books we read, we are getting to know one another and appreciate our similarities and differences.  Besides the opportunity to read  and talk about books, book club, at least our book club, is a place to share some interesting thoughts about life.

Recently, we read Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan.

The book got very mixed reviews from our group.  I had read it before and had so loved it that I recommended it to the group.  It's quirky and weird in many ways, but had enough of a puzzling conflict that I thought it would appeal to most members. Only one other member really and truly liked the book; one couldn't get into it at all and the rest of the group toughed it out and read it any way, even though they did not like it.   In our ensuing discussion, we discussed how that is one of the reasons we wanted to be a part of a book club. It forces us to read books we normally wouldn't choose to read.  It expands our book boundaries. And...even with books most of us do not like, we manage to find some kernel of truth to plant.

With Mr. Penumbra that kernel occurred in the message one of our members felt the book was trying to convey.  The plot of the book revolves around a rather cliche problem: the search for immortality. Though set in modern day and sprinkled heavily with the techno babble of Silicon Valley, the novel's setting was also very DaVinci Code-like with a secret organization that was trying to decode the meaning of life hidden in some ancient books. I won't give away too much of the plot or the conclusion, just in case  you want to read this book, but I do want to share the message our group felt the book exposed: friendship is the key to everlasting life.  Love, of friend or family member, promotes lasting memories, memories that are transferred from one generation to the next.  We live on in the memories we make in the hearts of others.

Though some of our group were skeptical that this is the case, for me it rang very true. I immediately thought of my Aunt Marie, my mom's sister who died at the age of 13. Of course, I never met Aunt Marie, but she had a big presence in our family's life.  Her story, her personality, her impact on our family was a lasting one that traversed several generations. I will be revealing her story in a future post, but for now, I refer to her as an example of how a simple tidbit of discussion in a book club meeting can spark big ideas.  It is also goes to show the power of books. They make you think!

Agenda for organizational meeting.

The Maple Glen Book Club has only been in existence since June, but it has had quite an impact on my life, opening up my world to new friends, new books, and new ideas.  Here is a list of what we have read so far:

July:  The Nest, Cynthia D'Aprix Sweeney

August: The Light Between Oceans, M. L. Stedman

September:  Take Me With You, Catherine Ryan Hyde

October:  Vendetta, Elizabeth Flaherty

November:  Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore: A Novel, Robin Sloan

In December, in deference to the very hectic holiday season, and through the wise suggestion of one of our members,  we are reading a short YA novel:

The Poet's Dog, Patricia MacLachlan

Happy Reading Everyone!

In Search of Order

In Search of Order

Being organized is comforting.  I feel in control of this crazy thing called life when I have my days and weeks and months somewhat planned out.  As a former teacher, I led a very ( and I mean VERY) structured life. Simple things like bathroom breaks and lunchtime had to be planned in advance. I lived by planning things out.  You can't just wing-it day after day in a classroom; you would be eaten alive by the little lion cubs! So, when I retired, I continued using a planner to map out all the things I needed to do and wanted to do. I needed to set goals, make lists of places and people to see. I also became the sole meal planner. It soon became apparent I couldn't do all of that in my 5x7 weekly/monthly calendar, so I searched for something better.

I kept encountering a thing called a bullet journal. At first I thought it was just an unorganized daily, bullet-ed list of what happened in your life; a kind of diary.  But as I investigated and looked at examples on Pinterest  I discovered it was much more organized than this and could be the exact tool I needed to organize my unstructured life. No one told me that one of the things you need to adjust to and prepare for when you retire is the lack of structure to your days and weeks. At first the lack of structure was liberating, but that soon palled, and I began to panic that I was wasting valuable time by not setting goals and accomplishing them.  The bullet journal helped me ease off the panic button. All you need to construct a bullet journal is a notebook, a pen, some colored pencils and a ruler.
I found a journal in the sale bin of Barnes and Nobles and turned it into my bullet journal. P.S. pick a nice pen that won't smudge or bleed through pages. Here is my pick: the pen is a Paper Mate Ink Joy...love it!

I won't go into too much detail about the set up of a bullet journal because there is so much out there on the Internet that you can investigate for yourself.  But, I do want to point out that the beauty of a bullet journal as opposed to a calendar/planner is that you can customize it to fit your needs.  For example, I create a two- page spread every Sunday for the following week.  I construct space for daily appointments, notices of importance. There is also space for meal planning.

And one of my favorite spaces on this 2-page spread is the Quote of the Week block. I like to choose a quote that will help me focus on some aspect of life that I want to work on or that will help inspire me in some way.

In addition to the weekly calendar spread, I use another 2-page spread to create space for listing weekly goals...you know those pipe dreams of "this is what I want and need to get done this week." I turn to this page whenever I'm at a loss during the week and I'm asking myself..."what should I do next?"

I also use the bullet journal for lists. For example, right now I have a pretty lengthy Christmas list going that is divided into columns for each member of my family. I have  a list of books I want to read, a list of places I'd like to visit, and a list of house improvement projects.

I also use the bullet journal to organize projects that need to get done.  For example, presently I am re-doing the en suite bath off of the master bedroom.  I listed all of the things that needed to get done to accomplish the task and even some of the "if money were no object, this is what I would do" ideas.

The bullet journal can also be a motivational tool.  I have several sections that I use for personal improvement goals, such as a fitness tracker where I set and record goals for things such as weight loss and steps walked per day, and even a page where I keep track of daily expenditures so that I stay within my budget.

The final thing I will share about the bullet journal is that it is also a relaxation tool. Not only does it help me organize my life, but it provides an artistic release...I  get to color!  If you are artistically talented you can really go crazy with this.  Me, I'm more of a doodler, so my embellishments are pretty simple. The opportunity to color like a child is relaxing in that you really don't have to think...just choose a color and go.

For all you retirees out there who might be struggling with that feeling of being unmoored...give a bullet journal a try.

Reading Round-up: January

January was a great month for curling up in front of the fire with a blanket and a book.  The skies may have been gray and the wind may have been chilling, but my spirit was warmed by the stories I read about lovers, orphans, immigrants, and displaced children of war. Here's the list:

The Orphan Train, by Christina Baker Kline
   
This was my favorite book this month.  I was unaware of the historical event around which this novel revolved: the orphan trains of the 1920's and 30's.  To alleviate the awful problem of orphaned and homeless children who populated the large cities like NYC during this era,  children's aid societies  transported thousands of orphans by train to the Midwest to places like Kansas.  There the orphans were put on display like cattle at an auction and given to just about anyone who wanted one, for better or worse! Some people were kind and just wanted to help a child, but others, as you can imagine, were depraved and cruel and simply wanted free labor. One of the main characters of the novel is Vivian, a 91-year-old survivor of an orphan train. She gives a job to Molly, a 17-year -old foster child, who needs to do 50 hours of service to avoid juvie after she stole a book (Jane Eyre, I ask you... how can that be a crime!) from the library.Vivian needs her attic cleaned out, and Molly needs the hours:  a perfect match.  But the job turns into much more. As each box in the attic is opened, a piece of Vivian's long life is revealed and the two discover much about themselves and each other.

Brooklyn, by Colm Toibin
 This book begins in post-WWII Ireland and follows a bright, young Irish girl, Eilis, as she emigrates to America where she begins a new life in Brooklyn. Her Irish family believe that America can provide a hopeful future for her, a future that she will not be able to find if she stays in Ireland. In America, Eilis blossoms under the strict guidance and generosity of a parish priest and a boarding house "mother." Here, she has been carefully placed through the efforts of her older sister. The priest selects a respectable place for her to work and even assists her in registering for college courses.  Of course, life is not all rosy for Eilis as she tries to assimilate into a strange new place. The best thing about this novel is the peek it gives the reader into the flavor of life during this period of American history when Irish and Italian immigrants added to the fabric of our country with their rich and vibrant cultures.

 The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, by C.S. Lewis

I had never read this classic fantasy, but decided it was time to do so, as I am taking a course on the works of C.S. Lewis.  Of course, the story can be read on many levels and by just about any age group...it has such a classic appeal.  The setting takes place during the blitzkrieg of London during WWII.  Four children are sent from the beleaguered city to the country estate home of a wealthy professor.  However, most of the story takes place in the fantasy world of Narnia that the children enter when they step through the depths of a wardrobe which stands in one of the many rooms of the mansion.  Here they are faced with the very embodiment of good and evil.  Much has been written about the symbolic aspect of the novel and the Narnia series.

Persuasion, by Jane Austen
Ahhh...Jane Austen!  What else can I say...just divine.  I think Persuasion is just as delightful as Pride and Prejudice (must be something about "P" words that bring the best out in Austen).  I love the way Jane pokes a finger in the eye of the entitled titled class...what a bunch of shallow baffoons.  Thank goodness the heroine in Persuasion is a humble, nice, likable person, because all of her relatives and most of her acquaintances are insufferable.  And what better book to read during a series of cold, gray days than one that presents a heart-wrenching love dilemma that is not resolved until the last two pages of the novel.  Delightful!

Where's Waldo

I've been meaning to write this post for quite some time, but have always kept putting it off in deference to something of more "importance."  Where's Waldo is such a silly thing, but then again in times of constant terrorist attacks, a continuing failed economy, self-important politicians who care more about re-election than improving the country, arrogant leaders who ignore the Constitution, and foreign governments who humiliate our military, I guess a little levity is not such a bad thing :)

Now that I have that off my chest.....

Meet Lilly:

Lilly is one of our four grand-dogs.  Lilly lived with us the first two years of her life, and then moved off with her "mommy", our daughter Allison, when Alli started a home of her own. Lilly is a spunky beagle with a huge personality. Lilly is like most beagles:

she loves to sleep on top of things...

she loves to eat...this is her please give me some of your food or I will die face...

and she loves to get into trouble!










I've read that beagles are like perpetual toddlers.  Imagine chasing after your two-year old, remember the energy that requires?  They are always getting into something and they never quit... it's exhausting, but they are also adorable... that's what life with Lilly is like all the time.  When she comes to visit, the first thing she does is beg for a peanut butter bone, then once that goal has been achieved , it's on to playing!  Sometimes she races outside to play with her friend Sudsy next door; sometimes she grabs the kitchen towel off of the oven door handle and runs around the dining room table hoping you will play chase with her. We always tire of that game before she does.  Sometimes she grabs a toy out of her toy basket and brings it to you to play a game of tug or throw and fetch; sometimes she steals dirty laundry out of the bin and races off with you chasing her frantically in tow.  By far, my favorite Lilly activity is Where's Waldo.  What's that you say?  She's a dog so she can't search for Waldo?  Well, that is true, but Lilly invented her own version of the puzzle.

Lilly has a favorite bone (I have to confess she first stole this bone from Sudsy...Lilly, unfortunately is also a thief) that she likes to hide.  We didn't notice at first that this was a game, until we began to find the hidden bone by happenstance after her visits.  Once we realized this was a game, we would watch her pick the bone out of the toy basket and race off with it.  We knew she was going to hide it somewhere; it became our mission to search it out after she left.  We have found that bone in just about every corner of our house:

under the bed in the spare room...

under the pillow of the day bed in the exercise room...

under the dining room table...

behind the couch...

then for the longest time we couldn't find it... we thought maybe she forgot about it, until... I was stripping the cushion covers from the wicker couch in the sun room the other day ( my grand-dogs got muddy on Christmas day and so did the couch) and...

There it was in all it's beagle-bone glory!!!

I laughed my you-know-what off... Where's Waldo is alive and well.

Oh...and just so that I don't get into grandmotherly trouble....Here is a look at all of my grand-dogs:

This is Lilly in front, with her sister Rexie

and here are my daughter Suzie's dogs, handsome Radar on the left, and pretty Emma on the right.

Dogs are wonderful people, don't you think!  I'd love to hear your dog tales...leave a comment!

Continued Learning, Key to Happy Retirement

Keeping Young of Heart

In an earlier post I proffered the thought that retirement is the time to do what makes you happy. (see my post: Retirement Means ) One of the things on my happy list was "learning new things."  I firmly believe that learning new things and exploring uncharted territory keeps you young of heart and fulfilled.  And this is true for all retirees, no matter what shape, age, race, gender, or marital status. Follow your heart...what did you always wish you knew more about? If you like history, do a quick online search of local history spots and jump in the car for a visit, or if time and money allow plan something more elaborate and spend a weekend in Gettysburg or Washington D.C. (see my post: A Walk With History).

Interested in music?  Find a local piano teacher and take some lessons. Curious about backyard birds?  Check out some bird books from your local library. Often times as we age, it gets more difficult to get out and about.  But this shouldn't stop us from keeping the grey matter from getting some exercise! There are lots of things one can do right from the comfort of an armchair: take an online course, or explore a subject through books. Even your cell phone provides opportunities for learning.  Did you ever use the free app Duolingo?  I brush up on my French with this free phone app;  it brings me back to my high school days and makes me long to read The Paris Wife again.

The Fear of Nothing to Do

Many soon-to-be retirees dread the day they will retire because they feel they will have nothing to do once they have cleaned out every closet and cupboard in the house. Are you one of those?  Can't see a full life without work? Believe me when I say that truly is not the case...as long as you take charge of your retired life and make the most of every moment. Retirement can be the best part of the journey we call life.  Continuing your learning is key to maintaining a happy healthy retired life.  In fact, if you approach your retirement from this perspective, you will find you don't have enough hours in the day to do all those interesting and entertaining things you always dreamed of doing. If you are the procrastinating type, get yourself a planner and schedule in things to do, places to go, people to see...you get the picture? If you put it in writing, it is more likely you will do it!

Find Your Passion

I'm starting my third online course this week since I retired two and a half years ago. I am passionate about many things and would love to learn more about them. For example, I love America and feel that many of our young people today do not know what a great country we have.  They just don't know how unique and grand our country is!  Hillsdale College (this isn't a paid promo, strictly my opinion) offers free online courses on the Constitution to any and all who are interested.  They believe that not enough people really know the founding principles of our nation. So they try to do their little part in educating the country by opening their online courses to the general public.  Free! Here is the link if you want to check it out: Constitution 101. You really do not need any advanced computer skills to take this course; it is easy!  It is filled with guest lecturers, primary documents and much, much more.  There are tests available if you want to see how well you are understanding the material, but you are not required to take the tests ever.  What could be better than that?  Learning for learning's sake.

I also took their free course on The Federalist Papers and learned so much more about the wisdom of our Founding Fathers...I am humbled at the brilliance and wisdom of Hamilton, Madison and Jay.

 And now, I've just enrolled in Hillsdale's most recent course offering:  An Introduction to C.S. Lewis: Writings and Significance.  You can check out the course description at this link: CS Lewis .  Lewis is best known for his Chronicles of Narnia, and I must admit, I have not read them all, nor have I ever studied about Lewis himself, so I am quite anxious to plumb the depths of this revered writer and philosopher.

AND!!! When I finish this, I am going to sign up for Winston Churchill and Statesmanship.  Can't wait!!!!  I don't earn any credits for these courses, but then at this point in my life, that's not my goal. I just find these subjects fascinating and am following my passions.

Your Turn

Retirement can be an amazing and fascinating experience.  However, if you wait for the amazing and fascinating to knock on your door, you are likely to be highly disappointed.  As in all things, you must take charge of your days.  I strongly recommend you keep on learning new things, follow your passions, and explore areas you never had time to explore while you were working.

I'd love to here what new things you are learning!  What subjects interest you? What explorations are you making in your retirement?  Leave a comment. 

Reading Round-up: December

December was so jam-packed with activity that my reading time suffered.  Hence I have only a few titles to share with you, but they were all great reads.

The Anxiety Disease by David Sheehan 

was first on my list.  I have several family members who suffer from anxiety.  Some suffer only occasionally, others suffer greatly and frequently.  I wanted to learn more about anxiety, so that I could be more understanding and maybe even be of help.  Though this book was written in 1983, I found it to be so very insightful and helpful. It looks at anxiety, not as a psychological disorder, but rather as a disease.  As such, it can then be treated and controlled.  Dr. Sheehan discusses the various stages of the disease, and believe me, he is spot on.  He also offers hope and suggestions for dealing with the disease.  If you or someone you love is trying to deal with anxiety, I highly recommend you read this book.  It gives you insight into the helplessness of the victim, and helps you gain empathy.  The disease is not as simple as "just get over it", anxiety is as real as any other disease and should be treated as such.

Finding Audrey by Sophie Kinsella

is also connected to the theme of anxiety.  Audrey, the main character, is trying to gain control of her severe anxiety and panic attacks, brought on by severe bullying incidents in school.  Audrey is in the midst of recovering through the aid of a good therapist, a very supportive family, and a new accepting friend.  Audrey makes a complete break from the hurtful incident and is home for now, but hopes to soon attend a new school.  Though she still has setbacks ( she hides from anyone who comes to the door) she is bravely taking steps to re-enter the real world.  She wears sunglasses 24/7 in order to feel comfortable around people; she needs this bit of symbolic distance to feel safe.  The book provides a great look into the anguish  and struggles of one who is dealing with severe anxiety and of the effects it has on those who love her.  In this age of social media that seems to promote a callousness brought on by a feeling of anonymity, it is important to remember that words do hurt and can do immense damage.

Two Across by Jeff Bartsch

This book made my list this month because I've become intrigued by crossword puzzles. Every morning since we have been retired, Bob complete's the Star Ledger's crossword puzzle as we sip our coffee and munch on some breakfast.  I tend to check emails while he works the puzzle but am sometimes called in as back up to use my computer, when when he gets stuck on a stubborn clue.  So when I saw this title in the library, I snatched it up.  A good choice - a very different plot and engaging characters.  Stanley and Vera, two brainiacs, meet at the National Spelling Bee, where they end up as co-winners defeating the list of most challenging words. The two form a somewhat weird bond as they meet again and again at yearly reunions.  Their relationship takes a even stranger twist when Stanley talks Vera into a "fake" marriage.  The relationship is often tortured by unrequited love and the two spend more time apart than together communicating through complex crossword puzzles they write and which are published in major papers such as the NY Times and Washington Post.  Besides the presence of interesting characters and a clever plot, Two Across taught me quite a bit about the construction of crossword puzzles.

Vintage by David Baker

was by far my favorite book this month.  This book has much to endear the reader to it:

• a onetime bestselling author who has lost his way
• two devoted daughters who adore their father 
• a father who brings his daughters love and warmth along with the lovely meals he teaches them to prepare
• a love for great wine
• a scoundrel who indulges in excess of drinking and womanizing  
• a mystery of a legendary spectacular vintage from 1943, stolen by the Nazis and a frantic search to find it
• a search of a lost soul to finally find what is truly important in life (hint - he finds it!)
• one of the best endings I've read in a long time

That's it for this month.  What books would you recommend for starting off a new  year?  I'd love to hear some suggestions so I can start a new reading list for 2016!  Happy New Year every one.  May it be the best one yet.

November Reading Round-up

"I'm late! I'm late! I'm late for a very important date!"  What the heck happened to November?  I was just making preparations for Thanksgiving and the next thing I know it's December. YIKES!

So, I apologize for getting my November reading list out late, but truly, someone must have wiped a week out of my calendar. I'm sure everyone is feeling the same  at this time of year. So much to do; so little time to do it all.  And to top it all off, half of the books I read this month were duds.  Here's my review:

The Mapmaker's Children by Sarah McCoy

This historical fiction book was one of my favorite reads this month. The story flips back and forth between Civil War era and present day America.  It follows the story of Sarah Brown, daughter of John Brown of Harper's Ferry fame. Sarah was a talented artist who painted secret code maps for the Underground Railroad--a little known fact. These maps were thought to sometimes be hidden in the heads of dolls to be carried by the children of escaping slaves.  As Sarah's story unfolds, so does the twin plot line of Eden, a modern day woman who is emotionally ravaged by years of failed attempts to conceive a child.  Eden and her husband try to restart their life in a new home in West Virginia near Harper's Ferry.   This Civil War era house just happens to be the very home where Sarah stayed while her father was executed after his attack on Harper's Ferry.  When Eden unearth's a doll in a secret root cellar in the home, the secrets of the house begin to unravel.  I loved the coincidences the author creates between the two time periods and how the author shows that the actions of one generation can affect the lives of many generations to follow.

Bed and Breakfast by Lois Battle

I chose this book because of the title.  I just love bed and breakfast places. Bob and I have a favorite B&B that we patronize whenever we visit Cape May.  It's called Inn at the Park, and it is owned and operated by two very lovely people, Jay and MaryAnn.  Unfortunately, they just announced their retirement and will no longer be hosting their B&B after January.  Just wanted to give them a shout out and to let the blogworld know what truly welcoming and sweet people they are.  Here are just a couple of shots of them and their beautiful Victorian home:

MaryAnn, an avid tennis player at age 70, was dressed for a big tourney that was to take place immediately after breakfast.  You go girl!

The parlor where hors d'oeuvres are served to guests every day at 5:00.

Back to the book... the setting for Bed and Breakfast is Hilton Head, South Carolina.  The main character is Josie, a close-to-seventy-year-old woman who tenaciously runs a B&B that she insisted she and her husband buy after years of nomadic wandering as her husband "Bear" pursued his military career.  Josie has been widowed for many years when the story opens and the reader can see how much the B&B gives meaning to her life.  The plot is complicated by the sibling rivalries of her three grown daughters. Life is never dull when you have nosy guests, and even nosier friends, not to mention a sister who lives next door.  A fun read.

Ruth's Journey:  the Authorized Novel of Mammy from Gone With the Wind by Donald McCaig

This sounded like a fascinating story, but was such a disappointment.  I couldn't get past the first two chapters.  The setting begins in the Caribbean Islands of the slave trade days where the French are unsuccessfully trying to quell a slave uprising.  The graphic violence and history book reporting was too much.  I wanted to get into the mind of Mammy and hear her thoughts of Tara and the O'Hara's but that never happened...I peaked at the ending (Oh Horrors, yes I did)

 and still didn't see any glimpses of the Mammy of Gone With the Wind. 

Lesson Plans by Suzanne Greenberg

This one also made the loser list. I thought I would be so interested in a book whose characters decided to homeschool their children, but the two families who were the focus of the story were so messed up and dysfunctional, I just couldn't stand reading any more about them! The main character was a father who mourned the loss of his liberal, activist lifestyle of his youth after being forced to do the adult thing, like go to work and support his family. So, since wifey made big bucks, he decides to quit the workforce and homeschool his three girls in a completely free environment.  Just imagine what that looks like...Montessori in hyper-drive!  Kids with no limits, no schedules, no plans!!! Hmmm...no comment.  Then there was the other homeschool novice, a mother (recently separated from hubby) who has become so overprotective of her highly allergic and asthmatic daughter that she might as well have put the girl in one of those John Travolta Bubble Boy glass domes.  This woman seriously needed help, and hubby just walks out because he can't cope with his wife's phobias.  Hello?? there is a child here in need of an education and guidance...Step up man and take charge!  I had to leave these guys to muddle to the end of the book alone. I just don't have patience for irresponsible adults. I was especially disappointed because I really think homeschooling can work for many kids and was hoping this book would paint that picture for me...alas not to be.

That's it for November...gotta get shoppin'...Let me know what you have been reading.  Take a stab at reading my two duds, maybe you can change my mind.  Any disagreements about my reviews are welcome too.

You Want To Change What?!

Retirement is all about change. It's much like changing jobs, except the new job isn't really work at all.  Many people struggle with change. Change is uncomfortable.  My husband, for example, hates change.  If I rearrange a room or even a drawer, he grumbles around complaining...things were fine just the way they were.  I have to smile because these changes will soon become the familiar and all the newness and strangeness will dissipate. I enjoy change, and I guess I have my mom to thank for that.  When we were growing up, we moved thirteen times.  One year, I changed school three times!  It was a tough year, as I was learning the times tables and every school was in a different place.  But, I quickly learned you either go with the flow or be miserable.  So, I grew to embrace change.

Change touches every aspect of our lives, not just as we enter retirement.  As the holiday season has begun, I again am faced with opportunities to embrace change.  My small 4-person family has now morphed to include two wonderful sons-in-law.  Our family traditions at holiday gatherings needed to be adjusted. At Thanksgiving, my youngest daughter and her new husband would not be able to share the main meal with us.  So, in order to include them in part of the Thanksgiving dinner I started a new tradition I called The Blessings Jar.

 Instead of going around the table and sharing what we were thankful for, I gave everyone little slips of paper to write down their blessings and then they were to fold them and place them in the mason jar that was the centerpiece on the table. We wouldn't tell what we wrote, at least not yet.  When my daughter and her husband arrived for dessert, they were able to jot down their blessings and add them to the jar.  I think we will read the blessings on New Year's Day or whenever we are all together at the start of the year and exchange our blessings for New Year Resolutions!  Thus a new tradition has begun.  See...change can be fun.

Right on the heels of Thanksgiving is Christmas Tree time.  When my girls were little we always had a great time picking out the tree.  Sometimes we would go out into the fields of a tree farm and cut our perfect tree down ourselves, and sometimes we found freshly cut ones at the local tree farm up the road. It was always a fun family time. But now that my girls were picking out their own trees, it was time to reinvent the tree ritual...well kind of.  We've decided that the weekend of Thanksgiving is the perfect time to get our trees and the perfect way to get them is TOGETHER.  My newest son-in-law brings the truck and all six of us meet at the tree farm to choose our trees.

Of course we give advice freely:)  Once the trees are in the back of the truck we start the drop offs.  It's nice to see the trees going in the stands and centered and watered. Of course we give advice freely again :)

I'm thinking next year we need to expand the tradition a bit more.  We all didn't get to go to everyone's house because as the trees were dropped off we left that couple behind to start their trimming.  Wouldn't it be fun to have a progressive dinner?!!! GENIUS! The first drop off point could be appetizers, the second the main course and finish the drop offs with dessert at the third home.  Meanwhile, trees would be in their stands, lights would be on their trees, and fun would be had  by all.  I love change don't you? I can feel my family's eyes rolling right now.  They don't embrace change as happily as I do.

As the year rushes to its end, it's a good time to think about change and how we greet it when it finds us.  I've found it not such a scary prospect if you try to find ways to welcome the changes around you, even if you liked the way things used to be.

Have a blessed and joyous holiday season as you go about your family traditions.  What are your thoughts on change?  I'd love to hear other perspectives on the subject.